Returning to My Original Self Before the World Told Me Who to Be

How I Stopped Performing and Started Remembering Who I Am (Original Self)
By Mike Connor

There’s a question I come back to often one that both comforts and challenges me every time I ask it:

“Who were you before the world told you who to be?”

It’s not a surface-level question. It doesn’t ask about your job, your roles, your achievements, or even your pain.

It’s a question about essence. About light. About the You that existed before identity became a performance.

It’s a question that Grace loves to ask.

I Wasn’t Always a Helper or a Healer

Before I wrote books, before I led workshops, before people looked to me for answers…
I was a kid with bright eyes and big questions.
Curious. Open. Deep-feeling.

But like most of us, I didn’t get to stay untouched by the world.

I learned how to be “good.”
I learned how to achieve.
I learned how to earn approval, affection, and safety by shaping myself into what others needed me to be.

Some of those identities were praised: strong, responsible, successful.
But others? They were masks I didn’t even know I was wearing.

Looking back, I don’t blame anyone.
Our families, schools, and cultures did the best they could.
But I see now how quickly we trade our truth for belonging.
How easily we abandon ourselves to be acceptable.

And that, right there, is the moment we forget.

What I Forgot (And What You Might Have, Too)

I forgot that I didn’t have to be anything other than me to be loved.
I forgot that being “sensitive” was a gift, not a flaw.
I forgot that stillness was as valuable as action.
I forgot that wholeness is our starting point, not our reward.

In my book Grace Is the Answer, I write:

“Your essence is not something you discover. It’s something you remember. The remembering is the returning.”

And I meant it.
Because that’s exactly what happened in my own life.

The moment I stopped trying to become someone and started returning to who I already was, everything shifted.

We All Build a False Self (Not Original Self)

If you’ve ever felt like you’re living someone else’s life…
If you’ve ever felt exhausted by your own expectations…
If you’ve ever asked, “Is this all there is?” after checking off every box…
Then maybe, like me, you’ve been living from a false self.

And let me be clear: the false self isn’t evil.
It’s not the enemy.
It’s just the version of you that was built to survive, not to shine.

We build it out of strategies, out of pain, out of pattern.
We become the achiever, the pleaser, the chameleon.
We perform, produce, protect, and perfect hoping no one will see how scared we really are inside.

But underneath it all?

Stillness.
Presence.
Originality.
Truth.

Grace doesn’t condemn your coping.
But it will gently whisper, “You don’t need to do that anymore.”

Letting Grace Do the Heavy Lifting

I didn’t heal through effort.
I healed through surrender.

That may sound counterintuitive in a culture that praises hustle, grit, and self-improvement.
But Grace operates on a different frequency.
It doesn’t demand your striving. It invites your softening.

When I began letting Grace carry the burdens I had always shouldered alone, something incredible happened:

I stopped trying to fix myself.
And I started listening to myself.

I stopped managing my identity.
And I started honoring my energy.

I stopped solving made-up problems.
And I started living from presence.

“Grace doesn’t demand that you fix what was never broken.
It simply invites you back into your true name.”

Who Were You Before?

So let me offer you the same question that opened this post and changed my life:

Who were you before the world told you who to be?

Not what you did.
Not how you behaved.
But how did you feel deep down?

What did your soul sound like before the noise?

What did your body feel like before the bracing?

What did your joy look like before the judgment?

If this stirs something in you, don’t push it away.
Follow it.
Sit with it.
Write to it.
Breathe with it.

Your Original Self isn’t lost.
Just buried.
And Grace knows the way back.

How I Reconnected?

Here’s how I began to reconnect to my Original Self not in a single moment, but over time:

1. I slowed down

I made space for silence, nature, solitude.
I stopped filling every moment with doing.

Grace often speaks the loudest in the quietest places.

2. I questioned my beliefs.

Whenever I thought, I’m not good enough, I asked, Who told me that?
I began to realize how many of my thoughts weren’t actually mine.
They were inherited.

And what is inherited can be released.

3. I let others see the real me.

This was the hardest part.
But I began sharing my truth, not the polished version, but the raw, present one.
The real me.

And the miracle?
That’s when I felt truly loved.

4. I let Grace lead.

I stopped pretending I had to know everything.
I stopped trying to control every outcome.
I trusted that if I aligned with truth, life would unfold accordingly.

And it has. Again and again.

A Final Word from the Remembered Me

You don’t need to become more valuable.
You don’t need to be more impressive.
You don’t need to be fixed.

You just need to come home.

To the self that existed before shame.
To the presence beneath the persona.
To the You that was never broken.

“There is no path to Grace. Grace is the path.
It doesn’t start when you heal.
It starts when you remember who you are.”

So, friend who are you, really?

Want to Go Deeper?

Get your copy of Grace Is the Answer
This book isn’t about fixing what’s wrong.
It’s about remembering what’s always been right and to understand your original self.

Explore upcoming live workshops and resources at AttractingGrace.com

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A free weekly reflection to support your journey home to your Original Self.

You’re not just becoming something better.
You’re returning to someone truer.

You.
Whole.
Worthy.
Already enough.

And that’s the truth the world couldn’t teach you but Grace can.