Why Do I Want to Stay Here? A Journey to Self-Love, Consciousness, and Inner Healing

Sometimes, life brings a question so big, it feels hard to face. For me, that question was: Why do I want to stay here?

It wasn’t about my body, it was about my spirit. I felt empty inside, like I was losing the parts of me that made life feel alive. I smiled on the outside, but inside, I was slowly fading.

Answering this question meant I had to be honest with myself. I had to sit with my feelings, even the painful ones. I had to stop running and start listening to my heart.

I realized I wasn’t broken. I was just tired. I needed love, not from others, but from myself. I needed peace, rest, and space to heal.

As I asked, Why do I want to stay here?, I began to hear quiet answers. Little by little, I began to feel hope again.

Let me explain.

I uncovered a deep grief inside me, so heavy, I could barely breathe. It wasn’t just one thing. It was everything. Missed chances, old wounds, self-hate, and silent pain I had hidden by always looking outside myself. I followed the rules. I built a good life. I found success. I even healed broken relationships. But deep inside, I still felt empty.

For a while, I thought I had found the answer. I felt close to God, and it filled me with light. But the feeling faded, and I fell even harder. I kept searching for healing and love, only to meet a part of myself I had long feared: the monster within.

Why would I call myself that? Because for years, I believed my darkness defined me. I looked for light everywhere but didn’t know it lived inside me.

The grief became overwhelming. I did everything “right”; meditation, affirmations, coaching others, but still felt like I was never enough.

Everything I built began to fall apart. And when it did, I was left with one question: Why Do I Want to Stay Here?

The answer didn’t come easily. But now, I choose to stay. I choose to feel. I choose to love even the darkest parts of me.

I see you, Nicole. I hear you. And I love you.

I see all of you, the peaceful and the unpeaceful parts alike, and I choose compassion. I understand now that grief came from feeling abandoned by myself. But I also see that I did the best I could with what I knew then. Now, I know better. I know I have a choice.

I choose love.

It’s not easy. Living here, in this world, feels scary because fear has been my focus for so long. But I can choose differently now. I can choose compassion over fear, understanding over anger, and love over hate.

Why Do I Want To Stay Here?

Because here, in this life, there is a chance to make a difference to the question, why do I want to stay here? To experience the kind of love and light I’ve never known before. To help others find that light, too, especially the children who need it most.

This world has so much to offer. I want to stay and see the beauty I’ve been too blind to notice. I want to experience flowers blooming, animals being animals, cultures I’ve never seen, and foods I’ve never tasted. I want to laugh, play, dream, and love like never before.

I’ve had enough pain. I’ve lived in the darkness long enough. It’s time for the light.

I am worthy of love. I am worthy of joy. I am worthy of peace. I am more than good enough to create a life of my dreams, just as I was capable of creating my nightmares.

I choose to love myself, fully and unconditionally. To forgive the past and embrace the future. I am grateful for my body, my heart, and the resilience that has carried me this far. I am grateful to God for this life for teaching me through darkness what it means to seek light.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I will meet it with hope. I will choose love, again and again, because that is the gift I was given.

Nicole, my dear, I love you. I choose you. I choose life. Let’s walk this path together, hand in hand, and see just how beautiful this world can be. Let’s dream big, love deeply, and shine brightly for ourselves and for the world.

It’s you and me, baby. Always.

And what about you, dear reader?

Will you stay and walk this path with me? Will you ask yourself, Why do I want to Stay Here? and gently explore the answer?

This journey is about love; real love that starts inside. It’s about looking within and seeing the power that’s been there all along. It’s about forgiving yourself for the times you felt lost, confused, or afraid. We all make mistakes. We all forget our worth. But now, you can choose to remember.

My life began to change when I found Attracting Grace and The Magical Mind. These teachings helped me see myself with new eyes. They showed me a way to heal, grow, and truly feel alive again.

I invite you to join me. Together, we can face our pain with courage and kindness. We can listen to what our hearts have been trying to say. Even our anger and grief hold wisdom, they point the way to healing.

There is a light waiting for you when you think, Why do I want to stay here? It’s quiet, strong, and full of love. Let’s walk toward it, step by step. This path won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. You are not alone. Let’s shine together and choose love over fear starting today.

Moving Ahead

The world needs you, your light, your love, and your unique contribution. Without you, the world is a little dimmer. With you, it has the power to shine with infinite possibility.

So, will you join me in choosing love? Will you embrace compassion, step into your power, and commit to living fully, with every part of you? Together, we can make a difference, not just in our lives, but in the world.

Because this world needs us, it needs you. Will you choose to stay and embrace the beauty, the light, and the love that life has to offer? Will you still ask yourself, Why do I want to Stay Here?

Let’s walk this path together toward conscious living, deeper love, and a brighter future. The first step begins with you.

Will you take it?

If you will, contact me, let’s talk about walking this path together, and about Why Do I Want To Stay Here?

Cheers to love, light, and higher truth,