Relationship Vulnerability

In last week’s relationship mirrors blog, we talked about how relationships are a major part of our lives with friends, family, coworkers or romantic partners. Various thoughts, emotions, and feelings that trigger us from experiences that happened or were conditioned in us during childhood, past relationships, and traumas can greatly affect our current relationships.

This week, lets dig deeper into vulnerability in our romantic relationships. I invite you to ask yourself the following questions. Do you find yourself happy and comfortable in your relationship where you can completely be yourself? Do you find yourself masking or changing certain aspects of yourself from fear of judgement or not being good enough? How authentic and vulnerable are you in your relationship?

There is always room for us to connect deeper within ourselves and with others. The more authentic, and in integrity you are within yourself, the more it will reflect outwardly in your relationship. A great place to start with being vulnerable would be having authentic communications with your partner. This could look like something, such as listening to your partner’s needs and desires, and also communicating your needs and desires. Another example could be expressing love to your partner through words, emotions, feelings, touch, and actions. Think of it as total, real, raw self. You are not holding back your fears, love, hiding behind a wall, or only giving selected parts of yourself. You are openly bringing everything out on the table. All of your lightness, darkness, scars, best versions of yourself, and everything in between. Knowing it, owning it, and accepting it. You are enough as you are.

Relationship

To illustrate an authentic communication, I would like to share the experience of one of my clients. He found it difficult to be vulnerable, show, and express emotions and feelings. He picked up a childhood belief that in order to be a strong, confident, masculine man, he could not show weakness. In his mind, emotions and feelings equated to being a weak man. Nothing could be farther from the truth. So, what did he do? He went about his entire life being the “perfect” guy. On the surface, it appeared he had it all together. He was well mannered, did all the so called “right things”, was chivalrous, treated his wife great, etc. It was everything he thought a woman could ever desire and ask for. Except, it wasn’t. It was a mask to hide behind and prevent anyone getting vulnerable or close with him. Emotions and feelings were only navigated through logical thoughts and constructs of the mind and not felt. There was indifference.

What happened? His marriage ended in divorce. He didn’t understand why because he was the “perfect” guy, right? The woman he was married to could not move forward in a marriage absent of vulnerability, emotions, and feelings. Years later, he got involved with another woman. His new relationship was magnetic and strong and he had an opportunity to do things differently. Yet, nothing changed. It was the same cycle repeating itself. That relationship ended too. The opportunity was lost.

Vulnerability is one of the most important foundations that can make or break a relationship. Vulnerability shows our willingness to truly love another. It makes us stronger because we are brave enough to meet another heart to heart. What actions can you take today to be more vulnerable in your relationship?

Sending you unconditional love and peace.

Manda


Step into the realm of infinite possibilities and watch your life transform before your eyes. Let’s attract grace together!

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