Relationship Mirrors

Relationships are a major part of our lives with friends, family, coworkers, or romantic partners. You may encounter beautiful dynamics in your relationships. On the flip side, you may discover areas that you would like to improve. Relationships are mirrors to all of us. What is important to remember is that what is within us reflects out in our environment. If what is being experienced is unfavorable, change the structure of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to align with what you desire to create. In turn, your external environment will shift to reflect the new reality; the previous reality will cease to exist.

The first step of any relationship dynamic is to consciously be aware of what is happening inside yourself and your environment. Perhaps we may be viewing things from a limited or distorted perspective. A plethora of thoughts, emotions, and feelings can trigger us from experiences that happened or were conditioned in us during childhood, previous relationships, heartbreaks, traumas, and current influences. As a result, we could be experiencing a reality where various thoughts, emotions, and feelings are running rampant from living in constant fear, running away and avoiding pain, self-doubt, self-criticism, not feeling worthy or good enough, and the list goes on.

This past weekend, I was working with a client who was experiencing a re-occurring pattern of communication challenges in her relationship with her partner. She desired a reality where her partner would listen, communicate, and patiently work with her, lovingly, without judgement and criticism. This challenge caused her emotional pains of frustration, anger, and grief. At that time, her approach was trying to control the situation and have her partner act a certain way towards her.

Hidden under the surface or even in plain sight, there may be a part of us that desires control. Examples of control in relationships could be things like trying to push another person to see things differently, see the real you, communicate with you in a certain way, move at the same pace as you, or take some kind of action towards you. In other circumstances, we could experience relationships where another person could take a route of inaction, denial, blaming others, mistreating or ignoring a person, or even a chaser/runner dynamic due to the fear, vulnerability, or intensity of emotions, feelings, connection, or passion.

This is where we do not take things personal. The other party may not have the mental and emotional capacity at that moment to confront or handle what is occurring. Sometimes, we know or do not know what challenges or internal struggles another person is going through. This ties back to prior triggers, events, and experiences that are influencing their present state of mind and internal conflict with themselves. They may just be unaware of what they are saying, doing, or the pain they are causing themselves or others. If the person were aware of what they were doing, they would not consciously choose to purposely hurt themselves or another. That person is doing the best that they can with their current level of consciousness, awareness, understanding, and resources.

Be kind to yourself, others, and give them grace. We are all learning and that is ok. Being ok with it is not excusing other people’s behavior or actions. Each person is a sovereign being responsible for their own decisions, actions, inactions, and the cause and effect of their choices. However, it is not our responsibility or burden to carry anyone or try to “save them.” Even when we are in disagreement or see things from a different lens, we allow a person to be who they are without trying to change them.

Relationship Blog

If current relationships are not an energetic match, you will experience internal conflict, disharmony, and the universe could remove people out of your life. Those that are an energetic match, will feel a pull of magnetized energy, clarity, harmony, support, and expansion. Different choices are made as we grow and elevate. For example, a friend becomes more in alignment as a romantic partner. A romantic partnership changes to a friendship. Sometimes, this could be separating from a relationship because that dynamic no longer makes us happy, nor grows with us, holds us back from our truest selves, or is out of alignment with our values or desired reality. When this happens, this does not mean we love the person any less. This is just being in integrity with ourselves. At the deepest level, our Soul has unconditional love for them always, no matter what happens.

What is important to remember is that we can only control ourselves. This respects and honors free will. It gives others the opportunity to make better choices for their highest good. The space given allows others to grow at a comfortable pace without pressure or control. Alternatively, we have a choice to lead by example. Your words and presence are powerful enough to inspire and touch the hearts of others just by being you. You can reflect back to any relationship the behaviors, actions, vulnerabilities, and authenticity you would desire another to reflect back to you. Lovingly let go, surrender, and detach from those who do not match your time, effort, or intentions. You have nothing to prove if others are unable to see your value.

Be grateful for those that value you and make the effort to share their space, time, heart, and love with you. Those are your people, your tribe. Be present and live in the now. Enjoy the simple things in life that nurture and feed your heart and Soul. Bask in heartfelt laughter, tears of joy, and the warmth of a smile. Enjoy the goodness in yourself and those around you. Let the innocence of a child inspire you to be better, do better, and contribute to the betterment of this world. There is beauty all around you. Frolic in nature’s wonders. Soak up the sunshine. Feel the wind brush your face. Dance and play in the rain. Stop and smell the flowers.

Trust and have faith in the timing and synchronicities of the universe. Release any expectation. Continue to move forward in your life and joy. Down the road, paths may cross and some relationships may return back into our lives if energies and efforts realign. The people destined in your life will always gravitate back or find you no matter how far they wander.

Sending you unconditional love and peace.

Manda Scott Blog


Step into the realm of infinite possibilities and watch your life transform before your eyes. Let’s attract grace together!

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